Relationship and Dating Coaching
For People Who Want to Get Unstuck
Welcome! I'm Jess, and I help people break free from relationship patterns that aren't working. Whether you're tired of the same dating frustrations or feeling stuck in communication cycles with your partner, we'll work together to help you show up authentically and create the connections you really want.
Crafting Your Profile
If you're struggling with getting matches or don't know where to start with creating a profile, we'll talk about what's going on and see if there are ways to draw in more people.
What We'll Do:
Profile Authenticity Review: We'll go through your photos and bio together (or help you create them from scratch) to make sure they're showing your actual personality, expressed in an authentic way.
Compelling Content Creation: We’ll make sure your profile is compelling and memorable, rather than typical and cliché.
Platform & Messaging Strategy: We'll figure out which platforms work best for what you're looking for, and brainstorm message openers that reflect who you really are and start conversations naturally.
Dating
Are you Looking for your Person?
Recognizing Your Patterns
If you keep running into the same problems, we'll explore whether there's an underlying pattern that could use some updating.
What We'll Explore:
Dating Pattern Analysis: Acknowledge your general dating patterns, including your relationship to your own desire
Blind Spot Discovery: Reveal what you’re not seeing, including ways of being that are getting in the way of connection— and showing you your "hidden" attractive qualities that will drive your person crazy (in the good way)
Communication Tools: Learn how to communicate in authentic and compelling ways at different stages of getting to know someone
Navigating Real Situations
If you're challenged by navigating confusing dating situations, we'll work through your experiences together and build your communication skills along the way.
Potential areas to address:
Common Dating Scenarios: Know what to do when: someone gradually loses interest and pulls away; you’re getting mixed signals; deciding when to pursue vs. back off; handling challenging conversations about exclusivity; figuring out what to do after a great date with no text back— plus any other unique scenarios you're facing
Authentic Communication Approach: Find how to express what feels true to who you are, while being clear and confident in each situation
Real-Time Problem Solving: Work through your actual experiences as they happen, so you can build skills and confidence for future situations
Understanding Your Impact
If you aren't sure how you're actually coming across, we'll create a space for honest and kind feedback so you can stop operating blind.
What You'll Get:
Energy & Presence Assessment Get direct feedback on your energy and presence, and what it’s like to be with you in general. We'll identify what's naturally magnetic about you versus what might be creating distance.
Communication Pattern Analysis Understand the impact of your conversation style, texting patterns, and date behavior. We'll pinpoint exactly what's working well in your interactions and what's causing disconnection or misunderstandings.
Personalized Adjustment Strategy: Learn how to refine your approach to be more effective and attractive while staying true to yourself. We'll help you express your personality in ways that draw people in rather than push them away.
You’re not broken. You’re just operating with communication tools that weren’t designed for the intimacy you’re trying to create.
“I had a first call with Jess about my dating life, and in just one session I had a breakthrough about something that I’ve been struggling with for years. I’m already on a better path now, just after one session. She has a very rare kind of presence and skill in communication. Looking forward to more.”
-Elliott B
Virtual Relationship Support
The real work isn't about finding someone you can tolerate—it's about learning to be both authentic and connected at the same time.
Are You Experiencing:
The same argument patterns on repeat
Passive-aggressive exchanges that go nowhere
Feeling like you're speaking different languages
Walking on eggshells or frequent tension
Our Approach:
Looking honestly at what's happening in your relationship
Connecting with your boundaries and what you need
Recognizing your part in the patterns that keep you stuck
Developing new skills instead of hoping things will improve on their own
What We're Building Toward:
Expressing yourself in ways that invite your partner closer
Communication skills that create deeper connection
Self-awareness to recognize what you're experiencing in real time
Navigating conflict in ways that build trust and intimacy rather than eroding it
"Jess walks her talk. When issues arise that would have led to days or weeks of unspoken tension in my past relationships, we resolve through vulnerable, honest conversations. Instead of letting conflicts fester under the surface, we share what we're feeling before resentment builds up. At first I thought she was a space alien — that was my first nickname for her, in fact — but now I realize she's operating with the secret relationship cheat codes. If we weren’t already together, I’d want her to help me find someone like her.
-Anonymous (but Real) Boyfriend
Foundations of Good Relationships
Communication, communication, communication.
But also: self-awareness, self-awareness, self-awareness.
These two elements are inseparable. You can't communicate authentically without first knowing what's true for you. And self-awareness often deepens when you practice putting your inner experience into words.
Real connection happens when we can move from a place of genuine desire. This doesn't mean being selfish or demanding. It means developing the self-awareness to recognize our actual experience—our needs, boundaries, and authentic responses—and then having the communication skills to express that truth with both kindness and courage.
When we're connected to what we actually want and need, we stop attracting people who aren't genuinely interested in who we are. We create space for relationships where both people can be honest about their experience. We build trust – both in ourselves and with others – because our "yes" actually means yes.
Yet most of us have learned to tolerate our way through relationships instead. We've developed a communication style built on accommodation rather than authenticity. We endure interactions that drain us, agree to things we don't really want, and stay in situations that feel off because we lack the self-awareness to recognize what's happening or the communication tools to navigate them differently.
This creates a self-reinforcing cycle: without self-awareness, we can't recognize what we're actually experiencing in the moment. Without communication skills, we can't express our needs or navigate difficult conversations. So we default to tolerance, building relationships on what we can endure rather than what we actually want. And over time, that tolerance can easily turn into resentment (a relationship killer).
Whether you're navigating modern dating or deepening an existing relationship, the foundation remains the same: Can you stay connected to what's true for you — and can you communicate from that place in a way that creates connection rather than defensiveness?
Real intimacy becomes possible not because you've found someone who's easy to tolerate, but because you've learned to show up as yourself and invite others to do the same. It's the marriage of self-awareness and communication: knowing yourself deeply enough to speak truthfully, and communicating skillfully enough to maintain connection while being honest.
Relationships become sustainable not because you avoid conflict, but because you've learned to navigate friction in ways that build trust and intimacy instead of eroding it.
"In our sessions I gained more confidence in communicating about my experience. It’s such a gift to be able to tell the truth, and to discover good ways of doing that. I’m finding myself speaking with more honesty everywhere in my life."
-Kris V
About Me
Hi, I'm Jess – and I believe that finding your person begins with finding yourself.
For over 10 years, I've been working as a relationship coach and facilitator, supporting people in discovering what's true for them and learning to communicate authentically. I'm a certified group facilitation specialist trained in authentic relating practices, and I've spent countless hours helping people improve their self-awareness and communication skills – not from what they think they should want, but what they really want.
Many dating coaches and relationship experts focus on tactics – what to text, when to call, how to act. I bring something different: I help people develop the same self-awareness and communication skills that transform relationships at every level.
Because the thing is, when you show up as yourself, you attract people who want to be with the real you.
A Little Backstory
My facilitation work extends beyond relationships into broader social healing. As a survivor of violent crime, I've spent years working in restorative justice and criminal justice reform, co-hosting the "A New Legacy" podcast and speaking nationally about accountability, healing, and breaking cycles of harm. This work has been featured in Elle Magazine, The Guardian, The LA Times, and The New York Times.
This deeper work has profoundly shaped how I approach relationships. I've learned that the same principles that create healing in the most challenging circumstances – self-awareness, authentic expression, and accountability – are exactly what create thriving intimate connections. When I've navigated my own dating experiences, meaningful relationships came not from tactics or strategies, but from trusting my own ways of knowing about people and situations. This meant learning to notice and honor subtle internal signals, even when they went against conventional dating wisdom.
"I got to be in one of Jess’ relationship workshops, and I knew immediately that I’d want to work with her. I hired her to train a staff team in better communication practices, and she is my go-to person whenever I find myself in a challenging relationship dynamic. Anyone who gets Jess' dedicated attention is a lucky person."
-Allison O
